Above left: Home Health Aide Yokauri Batista, left, and Social Worker Tracy Grafton flank retired Metuchen police Officer Bill Smith. Above right: Metuchen police Administrative Sgt. Arthur Flaherty spends some time bonding with Smith, his former neighbor. It seems that the older one gets, the clearer it becomes that the truly important things in life are not material — like celebrating milestones with family, chatting over coffee with an old friend or dipping one’s toes into the ocean’s lapping waves.
The staff and volunteers at JFK Haven Hospice and Palliative Care Program — and the patients they serve — know firsthand how something seemingly simple can mean the world.
“There are people here in hospice who just have small wishes,” said Maureen David, volunteer coordinator for the not-for-profit program.
And thanks to the program’s Dream Team, those wishes are coming true.
Tracy Grafton, a social worker with the JFK Haven Hospice and Palliative Care Program, came up with the idea with some of her colleagues. A sort of Make-A-Wish Foundation for adults, the Dream Team is modeled after the Dream Foundation, a California-based charity that helps to fulfill wishes for adults with life-threatening illnesses.
“I thought of this as sort of a way of taking back and owning what is hospice care, which is human touch and helping them fulfill their life,” Grafton said.
And that fulfillment couldn’t be illustrated more vividly than in the case of the Dream Team’s first undertaking, in July — taking a 52- year-old woman to visit the beach for one last time.
A patient lives out her wish to feel the ocean one last time. PHOTO COURTESY OF MAUREEN DAVID “It was unbelievable,” David said through tears.
The team packed up the woman’s oxygen tank and drove down to Ocean Grove’s surf and sand.
“Ocean Grove could not have been more helpful with everything,” David said, explaining that officials arranged for a beach wheelchair for the woman.
“It all came together within like 24 hours.”
The woman took in the sensual joys of the beach, enjoying it to the fullest, according to David. She died three days later.
“It was really emotional, I have to say,” David said. “That was one of the most profound things I’ve ever done.”
In another case, a woman turning 99 wanted to celebrate her birthday with family members from India. Getting out of her apartment, however, posed a challenge.
According to David, the Dream Team arranged for her to be transported from her upper-floor dwelling to a banquet hall, where she was able to enjoy the festivities with her loved ones.
“Just a simple thing like that made all the difference to them,” David said. “Sometimes these dreams don’t have to be monumental; it could just be something simple.”
Retired Metuchen Police Officer Bill Smith provides a perfect example of such a request. Smith, who lives with his daughter in Woodbridge, has a health condition that makes it difficult for him to get out and about.
“He had a good doctor friend who he used to meet at … the diner,” David said.
Smith’s buddy, Dr. William Ainslie — a longtime OB/GYN in Metuchen — was happy to oblige, as were the folks on the JFK Haven Hospice Dream Team.
“And I said, ‘Oh, wouldn’t it be awesome if someone from the Police Department would take him there,’” David said.
Metuchen police Administrative Sgt. Arthur Flaherty explained that former colleague Michael Sauvigne, who is now a sergeant with the North Brunswick Police Department — along with being David’s son — reached out to ask if he’d do the honors.
While Flaherty said he would have gladly done the good deed for anyone who had asked, he was especially happy to do it for Smith.
“I grew up two houses down from him in Metuchen, so I’ve known the family forever,” Flaherty said. “He was all excited about me taking him.” Dream Team members were on hand with Smith as he met with Ainslie and his wife, Nancy, for breakfast. Grafton, who has had Smith as a patient for a year now, was one of them. “… It was one of those experiences where you can look at it and say … ‘This just feels so good; this is what it’s all about,’” Grafton said.
Flaherty made himself scarce while the old friends caught up, then returned to pick up his former neighbor.
“When we got done, I asked him if he wanted to take a ride,” Flaherty said.
The two cruised around Metuchen, taking a sightseeing tour of places Smith hadn’t seen in a while, including where they’d both once lived. There, Smith chatted with Flaherty’s parents for a bit.
Flaherty also took time to show Smith the new features in police vehicles, which were completely foreign to the officer who had retired in the 1970s.
“He was amazed by the technology that we use nowadays,” Flaherty said, adding that Smith said of the SUV in which they traveled, “‘I’m waiting for this thing to take off!’”
Flaherty said he also enjoyed hearing Smith’s perspective on things, and was touched by the experience.
Smith also had such a great time — so much so, that he is already asking to do it again, Grafton said.
And despite being in hospice, Smith is more focused on living than on dying.
“He wants to have a focus on his quality of life, not the quantity,” Grafton said. “He really embraces that mentality.”
The mentality is one fostered by those at JFK Haven Hospice and Palliative Care Program. The interdisciplinary approach to care seeks to ensure that patients are not only physically comfortable as they approach the end of their lives, but also mentally and emotionally so, Grafton said.
“We just help them through the whole process,” she said, adding that the program also provides extensive support for the patient’s family, including group counseling.
“We follow our families for 13 months after a loss.”
And while the public tends to perceive hospice as dark and depressing, Grafton said, that is not what it’s all about. With November being National Hospice and Palliative Care month, the timing is right to increase awareness.
“It’s one of my missions to help people understand that it’s so much more than [sadness],” she said, adding that while the program addresses impending death, it focuses more on living. “I want them to know we’re a symphony; we’re not just one note.”
Appreciating the work of the Dream Team, a doctor at JFK Medical Center recently donated $4,000 to the efforts.
“That was wonderful,” David said.
Tax-deductible donations to the Dream Team can be sent to JFK Haven Hospice and Palliative Care Program, 65 James St. Edison, NJ 08818-3059. Checks should note that the donation is for the Dream Team.