By JENNIFER AMATO
Staff Writer
NORTH BRUNSWICK — Author, speaker and relationship expert Thomas Gagliano is expanding beyond his North Brunswick roots to share his advice on a national scale.
Gagliano recently taped an episode of “The T.D. Jakes Show” for OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network), which is set to air in the near future. He and two members of his weekly men’s group recently flew to Los Angeles to discuss the perils of digital infidelity.
“The easy access to the Internet has created a society in which people, including kids, can view almost anything with the touch of the button. Because of this quick and easy access, most children today have viewed pornography by the age of 11. And most teenagers have viewed more porn than most adults in their fifties.
“It then becomes an easy escape, a quick ‘feel good’ for many male adults. In which case, they begin to feel in control of their pleasure without any strings attached. No emotions, no compromise, no problem. But what happens when over-consumption occurs and the relationship starts to suffer?” Gagliano said through his publicist, Steve Allen of Steve Allen Media.
Therefore, Gagliano provides resources on how to handle intimacy and coping issues that lead to pornography use, how pornography allows you to control your experience, why it persists even after confrontation, the want/need for love and respect and the importance of communication.
Gagliano said that having been a bully, working through anger issues, experiencing infidelity and overcoming addictions of his own has helped him teach from his own personal experiences.
He currently facilitates three weekly men’s groups in North Brunswick, which are conducted per age group in order to provide men with the tools needed to strengthen their interpersonal relationships. His methodology centers on childhood messages and how they affect intimacy, parenting skills and career choices, according to Allen.
“Most of his clients come from challenging childhoods where intimacy was defined as something fearful, something that should be avoided. Tom talks frequently about how society also gives men the message that if they share feelings they are wimps or babies. In his groups, Tom blows up these distorted messages and encourages these men to share feelings, validate other people’s feelings, thus becoming more empathetic and creating boundaries when needed.
“Tom has the men role-play conversations which help the men learn that they can stay in uncomfortable conversations rather than running away or shutting down like scared children. He feels that most of these men upon entering a group have already learned to run towards addiction to medicate their problems. His groups address these addictions and teach them clear, clean, positive ways to show up as healthy, empowered adults,” Allen said.
With a master’s degree in social work, Gagliano also tackles issues such as terrorism, parenting styles, divorce, mid-life crises, how to handle betrayal and taking care of an elderly parent.
Gagliano’s books include, “The Problem Was Me” and “Don’t Put Your Crap in Your Kid’s Diaper: The Clean Up Cost Can Last a Lifetime.”
For more information, visit www.thomasgagliano.com.
Contact Jennifer Amato at [email protected].