SAYREVILLE – A Sayreville resident says he is in danger of losing his home after dedicating his resources to caring for his late parents.
According to Ken Adams, his mother’s family came to Sayreville from Germany and his ancestors started the First Presbyterian Church in the borough. They also founded the Fisher Brick Company.
“When my mom was three or four years old, her parents went back to Germany to visit family, which was a foolish move,” he said. “The war broke out and they were stuck in the eastern part of Germany. They were bombed, starved and all that went with that. My mom was not taught English because that would be a bad thing to do there. My grandparents also had my uncle. When war was over, the east went from Nazis to communism, which was just as bad.”
“Because my mom was born in the U.S., she was able to come to the country, but not my grandparents or uncle,” Adams continued. “She returned to Sayreville where nobody helped her. She had to learn English, support herself and work to save money to bring her family back. This took nine years, which was an amazing accomplishment.”
After Adams’ parents Martin and Dorothy married, he said his grandmother had a stroke one year after the death of his grandfather. His grandmother lived for nine more years under the care of his parents and himself.
Not long after his grandmother died, Adams said his father became ill from a form of Parkinson’s disease and as a result of being misdiagnosed, suffered a heart attack due to receiving the wrong medication. Adams and his mother began to care for his father, which not only took an emotional toll on the family, but also a financial one.
The medical problems continued into 2001 when Adams’ father had a temperature of over 107 in the hospital and was considered brain dead, Adams said. However, he began to recover and was brought home in an effort to improve his quality of life.
Around 2007, Adams said he found himself now caring for both his parents when his mother’s health began to decline.
His mother was diagnosed and treated for multiple myeloma, but became sick after the treatment. Following two years being hospitalized, receiving rehab in a nursing home, and returning home until she needed to be treated again, Adams eventually discovered she did not have cancer.
With his parents’ illnesses overlapping, Adams said he found himself unable to care for them both and he was forced to send his father to a nursing home in Matawan. His father died at the nursing home in 2014.
Four years later, Adams’ mother died during the week of Christmas.
“As these years passed, my finances and theirs co-mingled,” Adams said. “We depleted everything to the point that some years ago, I was forced to take a reverse mortgage on the house. I would write checks against the value of house to pay the house taxes, bills and food. Their Social Security was about $1,200 a month and other expenses were put on credit cards. We were just buying time in desperation to survive and hoping things would level off a bit so I could work and somehow get things moving.
“I sacrificed everything,” he continued. “I loved my folks. I loved my mom unconditionally. I know everyone loves their mother, but truly my mom was the strongest and at the same time, the most caring, fair and kind person who walked this earth.”
With his parents gone, Adams now fears that he will be unable to remain in his house.
“I now find myself so worn out, burned out and on edge of losing my house and place to live,” Adams said. “The value of the reverse mortgage is basically that of the house. I can no longer pay the medical and credit card debt and I’m backed up on taxes and everything. I reached out to social services which goes against everything I believe in, but I’m desperate and it’s been months of circles of insanity and nothing.”
He also made note of a cat living with him, who also may no longer have a home.
“Honestly, I’m more worried now about my beloved cat than myself as what will happen to him?”
An online fundraiser has been created by Adams to help cover the medical expenses of serving as a caretaker for his parents. The fundraiser can be found at www.gofundme.com/ken-dorothy-adams-illness-fund