HOLMDEL — When the widows of Vietnam War veterans come in, Lynn Duane sees their husbands’ lives unfold before her eyes.
In the piles of photographs, Duane, who oversees the In Memory program for the N.J. Vietnam Veterans Memorial, can see the men transform from young soldiers to middle-age veterans.
And then, the photos stop.
“By the time it gets to the end, they’ve withered away. It’s very sad that these guys are going through what they’re going through. This is just a way to say thank you and honor them,” Duane said on Nov. 3.
As administrator at the memorial, Duane oversees the program, which honors those veterans who served in Vietnam, came home and later died as a result of their service.
“Some of the deaths are due to Agent Orange exposure or Hepatitis C. Some of them are [due to] physical or emotional wounds that they’ve received, like post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD],” Duane said.
Duane said the federal Veterans Administration has recognized more and more illnesses as service-connected since she took over the program from the Friends of the Vietnam Memorial in 2000.
One of the criteria a family member must provide to submit their loved ones to the In Memory program is proof from the Veterans Administration that the death was connected to their service in Vietnam.
Veterans from throughout the state are included in the In Memory program, including residents of Matawan, Eatontown, Hazlet, West Long Branch, Middletown, Keyport and Fair Haven. New veterans are inducted twice per year at ceremonies held on Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
“A family member will speak and light a candle, and each person gets a binder at the memorial that has all types of biographical information that the family provides. We set that up here so that anybody can come and look at it,” Duane said, citing the inclusion of letters or the photos.
Their names are also honored at the memorial with a series of engraved paving stones placed around the tree at the memorial’s ground level.
“They can’t go on the memorial wall, but they belong with their fallen brothers, their fallen comrades,” Duane said.
“It’s an after-effect of serving your country, and they deserve to be recognized for the sacrifice they made. A lot of these guys had been suffering with illnesses for years. This is also a way for families to honor them and know they won’t be forgotten.”
For Duane, working with the veterans’ families is the highlight of the experience. She watches them come in with memorabilia and take part in the biannual induction ceremony. She is saddened when a veteran’s wife will occasionally speak at the ceremony — they rarely do — but is delighted when they return to visit their husband’s stone around the memorial tree.
“It gives families a place to come other than the cemetery to honor their family members.
“It just gives them comfort to know that their family member, after seeing them suffer through these debilitating illnesses, are here for them to come and visit anytime,” Duane said.
She mentioned the story of a North Carolina woman whose uncle was inducted into the In Memory program without her knowledge.
“Shewas so thrilled. He died as a result of PTSD, and she and her mother [the veteran’s sister] were so afraid he was never going to be recognized for the sacrifice,” Duane said.
“He came back never the same, and they knownowthat he will always be a part of this memorial.”
The New Jersey Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial will induct four new veterans into the InMemory program at a ceremony to be held on Veterans Day, Friday, Nov. 11, at 11 a.m.
For more information on the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans Memorial Foundation, visit njvvmf.org.
Contact Mike Davis at [email protected].