teens will respond when
asked about their lives
Workshop reveals some
teens will respond when
asked about their lives
By Jeanette M. Eng
Staff Writer
MARLBORO — Myth: "Now that I moved to Marlboro, I don’t have to worry about my kid getting involved with drugs and alcohol."
Reality: "Marlboro is no different than other communities, and that is why we (parents and children) need to make healthy decisions together."
That was one of the myths Marlboro High School students exposed in "Who’s the Parent?" an interactive workshop that took place on Nov. 20 at the Marlboro Middle School, Route 520.
The workshop grew out of a need perceived by Marlboro Police Sgt. Douglas Van Note and Bari Sobel of the Marlboro Alliance for the Prevention of Substance Abuse.
"I often run the teen nights, and when we ask for chaperones, we get a lot of calls back from parents saying, ‘I would love to do it, but my kid says I can’t.’ Well, who’s the parent?," said Sobel, who is also a member of the town’s K-8 Board of Education. "We realized that a lot of these parents do not know what is going on with their kids."
And so, "Who’s the Parent?" was realized as an opportunity for children to "de-mythesize" parents in an open forum format, Sobel said.
The forum consisted of a panel of students, including peer leaders from Marlboro Middle School and Marlboro Memorial Middle School and the organization REBEL (Resistance Education By Exposing Lies) from Marlboro High School.
REBEL is a tobacco-prevention program that strives to expose the lies put out by tobacco companies, REBEL President Josh Truppo explained.
"All REBEL members sign contracts stating that they will not use drugs, alcohol or cigarettes," he explained.
A panel of specialists was also present. Among the specialists was Marlboro Middle School psychologist Dr. Nancy Asher-Shultz; Marlboro High School adviser and counselor Ronnie Clerico-Knittel; police representatives Van Note and Patrolman John Loyer; Nancy Horowitz, the director of prevention and education at Discovery Institute; and Chris Tarver of township recreation department.
Sitting in the audience was the third panel, the parents who responded to a district-wide invitation to attend.
Marlboro’s cable television coordinator Susan Levine opened the forum for discussion.
"This is your chance, as parents, to ask our panel of students and specialists about any issue," she said.
With that, the questions flew.
One of the first questions asked was about the present state of drug laws for juveniles.
Van Note responded by saying that the laws for juvenile offenders have increased in accordance with crime.
"For example, a 14-year-old young man or woman who is arrested is fingerprinted and photographed just like an adult. That young man or woman is now a convicted felon for the rest of his or her life. The record is no longer washed clean at age 18," Van Note said, referring to previous juvenile laws.
Another parent asked the panel of students, "How do you feel about us asking you questions (about what’s happening in their children’s lives)?"
The response was universal.
"As a senior, looking back, I realize the importance of my parents asking me all the questions that they did," Truppo said.
Another student said that although a parent’s questions may be annoying, in the end, if the child listens to the questions and answers them, things will turn out well.
Specialists urged the parents to be strict with their children.
"Your kids don’t need a 40-year-old friend. They need a parent," Clerico-Knittel said.
"We need your help to be proactive. It has to start at home," Van Note said.
Parents also learned that in terms of use, alcohol and marijuana are the top two drugs among children in Marlboro. The use of cocaine, prescription drugs and even heroin, however, is not unheard of, according to Clerico-Knittel and Horowitz.
Horowitz, who works in a rehabilitation center for people 18 and over, took it a step further, giving parents a peek into the darker side of things.
"I get the people who did not get the prevention message. And then we have to act with intervention," Horowitz said. "I see the parents who did not set parameters and stick to those parameters, and when they come in for family sessions I always hear ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda.’ "
The students in attendance said they felt the forum was strange for them, although probably the best way to relate to parents and bring light on tough issues.
"I wish that my parents had been here when I was in middle school," said Jessica Whang, secretary of the REBEL group.
The forum was called a success and will definitely be held again, according to Sobel, who said, "Parenting is the No. 1 prevention tool that we have. Whatever it takes for use to educate our parents, we will do."
For more information about the topics discussed that morning visit www.marlboro-twp.com for links to resources such as the community policing bureau, the Marlboro Alliance, the Board of Education and many more.