By:Cynthia Cannon
While some parents cannot wait to get through toilet training, Eileen Palladino admits she’d do it a million times over.
The Princeton area resident is a foster parent who loves everything about babies – even the stage in which they throw Cheerios from the high chair.
When she underwent foster parenting training two years ago, she requested to work with babies, although she would love any child, she says.
Ms. Palladino’s involvement in foster care began several years ago. She served as a volunteer for Angel’s Wings, a foster care ministry located at Our Lady of Sorrows convent in Mercerville. A portion of the convent is furnished with single beds, cribs and childcare equipment to provide safe respite for children who are waiting to be placed with foster families. It was here that Ms. Palladino changed dozens of diapers daily and selected clean clothing from donated items for the children to wear.
She grew to love the kids, she admits, with the ferocity of an addiction. She had to become a foster parent. Having one birth son in elementary school, she took time from her busy schedule to attend an eight-week training course at the Foster and Adoptive Family Services. The course teaches foster parents to provide emotional support for foster children.
The agency informed her that she and her husband, Michael, had to meet the following state requirements prior to becoming a foster parent: provide bedroom space and space for the child’s personal belongings; obtain references from three personal friends, current employers, child’s school; a physician, including medical reports on all household members; complete a state and federal police check; allow DYFS to interview all household members and complete a home inspection; and possess sufficient income to meet the family’s needs.
Once the Palladinos became certified, they waited anxiously for their first child. A phone call in the morning from the agency heralded the coming of an 8-week-old girl to be brought to their home that same day by a case worker.
Once the child was in their home, Ms. Palladino arranged for a pediatrician’s check-up to assure her foster daughter was a healthy infant.
Foster children receive Medicaid benefits and physician referrals to health care that accepts Medicaid. The Palladinos, however, prefer taking their foster children to their family pediatrician to receive health care. "Our doctor always welcomes these children with open arms," Ms. Palladino said.
Currently, the Palladinos are foster parents of a 2-year-old girl. She came into their home one year ago. She cannot remember the days when the family was without her, Ms. Palladino pointed out. "These children feel like my own," she emphasized.
Ms. Palladino’s days are filled with "regular mothering duties," she continued. "We toilet train, we go to the park to meet other moms and children, and we clean the house. Dinner time is always a little hectic with after-school activities, cooking and homework.
"When these children come into your home," she continued, "it’s really important to treat them as your own children. They come from abusive homes, and they need lots of reassurance, communication and love. You’ve also got to learn to balance their needs with your own child’s. They have a special role being a foster sibling."
The Palladinos are preparing to celebrate their second Thanksgiving and Christmas with their foster daughter. Ms. Palladino revels in decorating her home for the holidays and preparing the traditional Italian fare for the extended family. "My mother and sisters love to see our daughter; they always ask when they can come to visit. We all love her."
Foster parenting is difficult when the child leaves to return to their birth or adoptive home, said Ms. Palladino. "When I wake in the middle of the night and the baby is no longer here to hold, my heart hurts so bad."
"The joy you can give a child is definitely worth that pain," she continued. "A child is a special gift and needs to be cherished. Maybe they never had anyone say ‘I love you,’ and it’s a great feeling to do that."
"We do our best and pray that they grow to blossom and be happy healthy adults. We’ve got to give it to them."
For more information about Angel’s Wings foster care ministry, call Suzanne Dunn at (609) 392-6100.
