Although January seemed to just fly by, February certainly dug in his heels and refused to budge. In fact, at times it seemed like February would never leave.
Like an unwanted houseguest who overstayed his welcome, February was invasive, obtrusive and made folks miserable. He stretched out, made himself at home and just plain stunk.
It’s not as if we didn’t know what we were in for. Truth is, we dreaded his arrival from the get-go. We knew what he was, what he did and what he is capable of. Still, we tried to comfort ourselves with the power of positive thinking and the old “mind over matter.”
Knowing his arrival was imminent and looming on our horizon, we told ourselves that maybe he wasn’t as bad as we remember.
But he was.
Oh sure, we had some nice times now and then, and sometimes you hardly even noticed that February was around. He would hang out in the background, keep to himself, and at times would tippy-toe through the day with nothing more than a gentle breeze.
Then, all of a sudden, he would go all stormy and ruin family plans with his nastiness. He seemed to have a real talent for trashing the day, and oftentimes he made a real mess of things with nary an apology.
February was never apologetic for the havoc he wreaked on our daily lives. He brought with him demands and deadlines for everything from 1099s to insurance audits. He forced us to forego any form of relaxation and instead demanded that we prepare for the accountant and February’s good old buddy, the IRS.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
It was during February’s visit that we were forced to endure weight-loss commercials, along with the one of that seemingly nice man who plays the “Money, Money, Money” record while he throws dollar bills at everyone. Everyone, that is, except for us.
I am not saying the great flu of 2015 was caused by February, but I ain’t saying it wasn’t. There were runny noses, body aches and a sore throat of epic proportions — not to mention headaches, chills and general malaise.
Did February take pity on us? Well, that’s going to be a big fat “no.”
Twenty-eight days. That’s how long February stayed. Although it is the shortest month of the 12 and the daylight was certainly limited, they were the longest days of the year. It was like watching paint dry.
I looked at the clock as his time wore down. I counted the moments, waited for the final seconds to pass, and as the page on the calendar finally turned, I bid February a warm and final adieu.
I realize it can still snow in March. I know the temps can still take a dip and that winter is not officially over until the 21st. I am aware the taxes are not done and that a nasty head cold might still be waiting in our balance.
But February 2015 is gone, over — and I, for one, am here to say good riddance, see ya and allow me to offer up a heartfelt “sayonara!”
Wreak your havoc elsewhere, February. Take your short days, icy winds and frigid temperatures, and get on down the line. Oh, and take Fred Flu and the tax man with you.
March might turn out to be nothing more than February’s ugly little sister, but she is still one step closer to April, which only means their pretty cousin, May, is just around the corner.
As I turn my face toward the sun, I can feel it now. Spring is coming — and, along with it, balmy temperatures, longer days and warmer nights. May will open the door for summer, and even the naysayers can’t deny it’s true.
Some might think me uncaring and brisk. I may never win an award as the world’s best hostess with the mostess, but I did it. I kicked up my heels, and I did a happy dance as I saw February depart.
And I ain’t sorry!
So long, Mr. February. Oh, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Lori Clinch is the mother of four sons and the author of the book “Are We There Yet?” You can reach her by sending an email to [email protected].