Placing a loved one into a nursing home can be difficult
By John Saccenti
FOR many, helping a loved one in the most difficult of times is something they don’t think twice about. But that doesn’t mean the burden of caring for an adult in need of full-time supervision doesn’t take its toll.
”There is a lot of stress that comes with taking care of a person, physically and mentally,” says Lisa Catlin, administrative director at St. Peter’s Adult Day Center in Monroe. “No matter who the person is, there’s going to be some stress.”
For family members and caregivers, spending time away from a patient and taking time for themselves, whether for short periods of time or by putting them into a long-term care facility, can benefit the caregiver as well as the patient, says Ms. Catlin and Liana Reynolds, assistant administrator for the Elms of Cranbury nursing home.
”The caregiver can wear themselves out, and sometimes the relative may only have a TV for company for a lot of the day, so their quality of life probably is not as good,” says Ms. Reynolds. “Your time, you’re going to enjoy it a lot more, and the patient absolutely thrives here.”
The Adult Day Center provides daytime care to adults who typically require full-time medical supervision and are unable to take care of themselves. Ms. Catlin says the center provides caregivers with time to themselves — a rare commodity for many — by giving patients the care and medical supervision they need as well as providing them an opportunity for social interaction. The facility even provides transportation, meals and has a nurse and physician to oversee the program. For caregivers who may feel overwhelmed by it all, it also provides a variety of resources and support groups.
”We have a social worker that can provide resources, we also have a caregiver support group,” Ms. Catlin says. “Whatever issues they’re having, they can talk to people that are like them and lend one another support.”
Those who use the service sometimes feel as though a weight has been lifted. “They’re reaction is that it’s a huge relief,” she says. “We get compliments, we get letters. People are just very thankful for this service because it’s safe for them. Most of the staff has been here for a long time. They love the place, they’re dedicated to it and the caregivers see it when they come in.”
Ms. Reynolds says putting an adult loved one into a full-time, long-term nursing home may not always be someone’s first choice, but very often is the right choice for everyone concerned.
”Long-term care, today compared to 10 years ago, is just so much different,” she says. “People usually think they’re doing a horrible thing by placing a loved one in a facility, and that they’re better off keeping a loved one at home.”
Ms. Reynolds adds that people don’t realize the wealth of resources a facility can provide that they just can’t. From occupational therapy to opportunities for social interaction and friends to a professional medical staff and 24-hour supervision, many patients actually do better in a nursing home than at home, she says. In addition, staff at the Elms and at the Adult Day Care work hard at getting to know a patient so that activities can be tailored specifically for them and that residents don’t have to change their entire lifestyle.
”In a well-run facility, in a good place, they’re going to find out their interests and are going to draw them out. The families, once they develop a relationship with the caregivers, they start to develop a sense of trust and they’re more at ease,” Ms. Reynolds says.
Ms. Reynolds says the facility has social and therapeutic activities for every function level. Discussions of current events, physical therapy, movie nights, parties and independent activities such as supper clubs for those who are able to attend are just the tip of the iceberg. The facility also has family functions, such as a carnival and holiday activities, says Marlene Connelly, activities director for the Elms. Working with the family to make someone’s stay a good one is a big way to alleviate the anxiety they may have with placing a loved one in the Elms.
”Our focus is really to run with the family,” Ms. Connolly says. “We have a social worker full time and we find out what (the patient’s) background was and what they’ve done in the last few years. And we seat them in an area with people who we think they’ll interact with. We find their interests and match them up.”
To put minds at ease, Ms. Reynolds says people considering placing their loved one into a full-time facility should take the time to visit and get to know the place first.
”They come in to the facility and they walk through. A lot of times, if the person they’re considering for admission is able to, we’ll encourage them to come and have lunch in the facility so they can see what it’s like, what a meal is like. Meals are focal points in the day, especially for a long-term care patient,” she says.
Placing a loved one into a nursing home can be difficult, especially in the beginning, but social workers and other staff members are there to help make the transition easy.
”Social workers, nurses, all of those people, they talk someone through that beginning period of time, in the first days of a new admission into a new facility, to build up their trust and confidence as caregivers,” Ms. Reynolds says. “All of a sudden you’re entrusting your spouse or parent to caregivers. The best way for people to feel comfortable with that is when they come in and see that their mother or spouse is clean, and that the caregivers are responsive to them and knowledgeable about their patient.”
But trusting your loved one’s care to someone else can be stressful no matter how many visits or who is working there. Ms. Catlin and Ms. Reynolds both say it’s important for caregivers to know that their family members are in good, qualified hands. The Adult Day Center has a nurse and a physician that oversee the program, dispense medication, and handle all kinds of health issues. At the Elms, because of the facility’s sub-acute care center, patients have access to a medical doctor regularly and there about eight to nine patients per certified nursing assistant, as well as a registered nurse.
”You want to make sure there is a registered nurse in the facility. A registered nurse is better trained to handle an emergency,” Ms. Reynolds says. “A nurse can make an assessment.”
The Elms of Cranbury is located at 61 Maplewood Ave., Cranbury, 609-395-0641. The St. Peter’s Adult Day Care Center is located at 200 Overlook Drive, Pond View Plaza, Monroe, 609-655-6853.