By Kristine Snodgrass, Staff Writer
The virtual world creates new challenges for parents looking to protect their children from the neighborhood bully.
With the aim to increase awareness of such issues that have arisen in the digital age, the Princeton Human Services Commission and the Princeton Township Police Department hosted a workshop at the Municipal Building this week, “Sticks and Stones: Cyberbullying, Texting, Sexting, Social Networks and Their Impact on Our Children.”
Human Services Commission Director Cynthia Mendez said the Tuesday evening workshop, which drew a modest crowd of parents, included presentations explaining the nature of cyberbullying, what it looks like, and the impact is has on children.
Cyberbullying, she said, is the use of an electronic device to intimate or threaten a person. Where kids used to use the bathroom wall or the telephone to bully, now they use the Internet, she said.
Social networking sites allow kids to post negative comments about their peers, even anonymously, and the message can spread instantaneously to hundreds of other kids, she said.
”This is something that parents really, really need to be aware of and talk to their children about,” she said.
There’s also the growing problem of “sexting,” Ms. Mendez said. “Sexting” is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photos or images via cell phone, computer or other electronic device.
Children could be charged criminally for sending such images of minors, and if found guilty and convicted have to register as a sex offender under Megan’s Law, she said.
”Sexting” has also become commonplace among adolescents, according to data presented by Princeton Township police Detective Benjamin Gering.
Thirty-nine percent of all teenagers have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages, he said. Twenty percent of teenagers have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves.
Forty-four percent of teenage girls and boys say it is common for sexually suggestive text messages to get shared with people other than the intended recipient, he said.
The statistics were attributed to a survey of teens and young adults in 2008 conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com.
But even noncriminal uses of social networking sites could impact a child’s future, Ms. Mendez added. Colleges and employers look at Facebook pages and other online activity of applicants, she said.
”I don’t think young people realize the ramifications,” she said.
Detective Gering said children who are victims of cyberbullying exhibit the same symptoms as a child who is bullied on the playground: a sudden change in behavior, low self-esteem, isolation, and loss of interest in activities he or she once enjoyed.
At schools, teachers might notice frequent visits to the school nurse, a drop in grades or increased absenteeism, he said.
Cyberbullying is more challenging to control, he said, as it can be difficult to have bullying comments removed from Web sites.
”You cut and paste and it never really goes away,” he said. “For a young adolescent having to deal with being bullied, it’s almost like it happens every day. It’s over and over to them.”
Parents often have a fear of approaching the issue, he said, because the younger generation tends to be much more knowledgeable about technology. But it’s important to discuss the proper use of technology, just like parents teach their kids about of drugs and alcohol, he said.
”You wouldn’t just let your kids get into a car without teaching them how to drive,” he said.
If a child is being cyberbullied, Detective Gering advised parents to print out and save the Web content involved, so that police can investigate the case if it elevates to the level of being criminal.
Though cyberbullying can constitute harassment or making terroristic threats, he advised parents to consider the Police Department a resource to help the children involved.
”When we’re dealing with adolescents the focus is to try to help and get them rehabilitated,” he said.
Peter Thompson, manager of information technology for Princeton Regional Schools, discussed how the district has handled the issue.
According to the district’s 11-page bullying policy, which was extended to include modern communications, bullying is taken seriously whether it happens on the playground or in the virtual world, he said.
But the 24-hour nature of Internet and cell phones means that the district can only do so much, he said.
”It’s far more important for the parents to understand the implications and issues that Internet communications bring to their kids,” he said.
Instead of trying to prevent students from using social media sites, district teachers and librarians teach students how to understand and be skeptical of what they’re reading online, as well as to be careful about protecting their identity, he said.
The solitary nature of computer use means that kids are left to handle the bullying in isolated situations, he said.
”On the playground, there are lots of kids around,” he said. “On the Internet, they may be at home or at the library when this happens. They don’t deal with it in the same way. They see it as something they need to solve themselves somehow, which is not always easy for a child to do themselves.”
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