By Pam Hersh
The final line of her obituary says:
”Swim, bike, run, Tink! And when you rest, may it be in peace.”
Longtime Princeton resident Sarah “Tink” Bolster, who died May 19 at the age of 88, undoubtedly will find peace in heaven, but rest? Tink seemed to find her peace and joy on earth by never resting — by swimming, biking, running, caring for and running after her 14 children, and running around as a dedicated, community change agent.
Her daughter Mary Bolster said she remembers her mom resting for “snippets” at a time by sitting on the couch with her eyes closed, while totally aware of everything that was going on around her. And Tink’s husband of 64 years, Joe Bolster, acknowledged that sleeping and resting for his wife never involved “overly long” periods of time. Activity energized rather than enervated her. Her nickname Tink, as in Tinker Bell, was reportedly a reference to her diminutive stature, but in fact I think it also could be describing her continuous motion, moving seamlessly from one activity to another.
I knew Tink — in slower motion — on the streets of Princeton. For a number of years, I would greet Tink and Joe as they walked hand in hand on Nassau Street. I would be going to work, as they were going to breakfast from DeNunzio Pool (Princeton University), where Tink had been working and swimming since 4 a.m. Tink was the founding director of the Princeton Area Masters program, a year-round competitive and fitness swim program for adults, based at DeNunzio Pool.
When she was not swimming, she was walking, biking, and running for leisure and competition. Two of her 14 children (Martha Bolster and Mary Bolster) told me that their mother, even past the age of 70, outpaced them when they were engaged in the same sporting activity. She started doing triathlons when she was 59 years old. Joe, Princeton University Class of ‘52 and a track star as an undergraduate, became her handler and manager. A decade ago when Tink and Joe were in their late 70s, they celebrated their anniversary with a 400-mile bike trip on the Erie Canal from Buffalo to Albany.
Tink used her non-competitive walks and bike rides as a way to spend so-called down time with her husband. Generally, every Saturday and Sunday morning the couple would ride from Princeton to Cranbury to have breakfast at Teddy’s Luncheonette on Main Street in Cranbury.
The same focus and precision she brought to her athletic feats, she brought to the everyday household feats of taking care of her sports team-sized family. She did her own cooking (the meat loaf was at least three feet long, there was no such thing as a “meat loaf pan”) and cleaning, six loads of laundry per day. “The kids were shocked when they visited other families that did laundry only twice a week,” said Mary.
”Mom was ultra organized and very neat,” said Martha. She had a system and a schedule and followed it rigorously. Laundry was always done, bathrooms always clean, and no dust. She got it all done, with time to spare for her community service passions.
In addition to starting and directing her swim program for 36 years (from 1972 to 2008), Tink, a devoted alumna of Smith College, served as president of the Smith Club of Princeton. She did everything including selling pecans as a fundraiser — both daughters remembered the garage being filled with cans of pecans.
Tink also volunteered for the Hospital Fete, the Princeton Recreation Department, the Renovation of the Community Park Pool, the Princeton YWCA and YMCA, PTAs/PTOs of several Princeton public schools, and the Nassau Swim Club.
But no matter how busy she was, according to Martha, Tink was a devoted friend. She made friends with people of all ages and all walks of life, and stayed friends with them. “She remembered not only their names, but also their birthdays and remembered to send a card.”
When Tink and Joe were inducted into the Princeton High School Athletic Hall of Fame four years ago in the category of “supporter,” Tink gave a speech in which she spoke without notes and thanked by name several individuals from the janitor to the superintendent of schools for being so supportive of her children. As much of a superwoman she was, she knew that when it came to child rearing, it truly took a village.
”It also helped that my mom and dad were an unshakable team with a unified philosophy of child-rearing,” Mary said. “We never could play one parent against the other… The kids outnumbered the parents, but the parental team always won.”
On one of my very slow jogs down Nassau Street several years ago, an acquaintance stopped me to say that I reminded her of Tink Bolster. Except for the ability to be an extraordinary athlete, to remember countless names and birthdays (I confuse the names and birthdays of my six grandkids), to raise 14 kids instead of two, to cook, and to keep a house spotlessly clean, indeed, I am just like Tink — short and generally in motion.
Joe refrained from going to PU Reunions this year, but he has many wonderful memories of Reunions celebrations and coming back year after year with a new Bolster. I have no idea if any other Princeton alumnus can match the Bolster 14-children record, but Joe knows that the Bolster Brood (they wore “Bolster Brood” T-shirts in the P-rade) made quite a hit every year.
As did Tink. “She had a big personality… she drew you in, captivated you with her spirit and her effervescence,” said Joe.
She certainly was a force, one that will be with her family and the community of Princeton forever.
A Memorial Service for Tink Bolster will be held at Princeton University Chapel, June 30 at 11:30 a.m.
