Decades ago when I was a young boy, Decades ago when I was a young boy, I insulted my classmates’ physical build, clothing, odor and parents. And my classmates did the same exact thing to me. If you told jokes about my mother, I came back with better jokes about your mother. This was and still is the usual banter among young boys.
Our parents did not get involved unless there was a physical altercation or real bullying going on. At that point, the parents would get together to discuss the situation. And what if the incident happened at school? Everyone would get sent to the principal, scolded, parents called and a few days of detention. Problem solved.
Flash forward to today. In a misguided attempt to legislate the speech and behavior of our children, we have New Jersey’s Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying (HIB) law. Yes, I know of the horrific incidents that have occurred that led to the presumably well-intentioned passage of this law, so it is not my intent to make light of bullying. But my recent firsthand experience with the HIB law showed that normal childhood conflicts can now be easily elevated to accusations of HIB. School administrators then spend taxpayerfunded resources conducting interrogations, investigations, rendering verdicts and determining punishments — all without parental notification. Confirmed HIB findings are then reported to the superintendent, school board and the state.
What have I learned about the HIB law? Children must be politically correct when speaking to other children. If your child is insulted, go on the offense and consider filing an HIB complaint. Instruct your children not to speak to school administrators without their parents present.
I am not attempting to trivialize real bullying situations. Unfortunately, the new law does exactly that.
Laurence Scheck
Manalapan