It’s not as simple as it once seemed
By:Mary Ellen Zangara
What is a mother? A mother is defined as a female parent by Webster. But our definition is probably one who takes care of us, loves us and is always there for us.
A mother has many jobs to do in her busy lifetime. Not only is she the only who mostly takes care of the children, she is the one who drives the children all around to their many activities, cooks, cleans and does a million other things.
In today’s world, there are also some dads who are moms too. Years ago a mom was considered to be female but now there are many men and they have the same responsibilities and do the job just like moms do.
Growing up you had Mom there to help you with everything. As you get older, your mother is still there but you don’t rely on her as much as you did when you were younger.
When I was growing up, I was one of the fortunate kids to always have my mother around for us. She stopped working when she had me and stayed home to raise four daughters. Mom didn’t go back to work until the year I graduated high school and my youngest sister was older.
It was nice to have her around for just about everything. She was able to attend things at school, help out when needed and was there for us. Mom had volunteered and helped out with many of our activities. In our neighborhood, my mom always had all the kids at our house to play, stay over and just come visit.
I remember there were many days when it seemed that her new job was a taxi driver carting us all over for our after school activities. One of us would have to go at one time and she would drop us off, then drop off someone else and by the time she would drop everyone where they were supposed to be, it was time to start picking us up.
Now a mother myself, you begin to realize and appreciate all that your own mother has done. You don’t quite understand when you are little why she says or does certain things that makes you angry or upset.
Of course there is the famous phrase “because I’m your mother that’s why.” There have been many different times when I say something to my sons and I have to stop and think. You realize why something had to be done that way, or why it could not have been done at all.
On some occasions after I said or did something, I stopped and said to myself I sound just like my mother. Now all the things she did come to light and make perfect sense.
I too have the privilege to stay with my three sons. I stopped working full-time when I was expecting the first one and I have worked part-time since then.
I managed to keep the time for the boys and still go out and do my photography among other things. I am lucky because I have a job that I can work around my schedule with the three of them.
I am involved in their schools, Scouts, sports and other activities. Sometimes it is a little difficult to try to do something or go out somewhere with them but I make the time.
Being a scout leader over the years for Boy and Girl Scouts I have had a few kids tell me “I wish my mom could do this with me” or “I wish my mom could come to see me.”
That alone was hard for me as I tried to explain to them why their moms could do all the things that I do. I think if you are lucky enough to stay home with your children and see them through their years then you as a mom would be rewarded with their happiness, which I am.
As Mary Kay Blakely wrote; “The job description of mother is clearly in need of revision. As it stands, the shifts are twenty-four hours, for a period of approximately 1,825 consecutive days. The benefits are sorely in need of amendment: no vacations, no sick leave, no lunch hours, no breaks. Moreover, it is the only unpaid position I know of that can result in arrest if you fail to show up for work.”
Today my mother and I have a special relationship. We are more like friends. She is always there for me in good times and bad, we go out places and do things together and we are very close. She is very special to me and is a big part of my life.
So to my mom and my sister (who will be a mom soon) and all the mothers who are reading this…Have a Happy Mother’s Day and remember the Jewish Proverb “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”
Mary Ellen Zangara is a life-long resident of Manville.