Members of the Driscoll family, who lost a husband and father on United Airlines Flight 93 on Sept. 11, say that kind words and condolences from their neighbors and government representatives, including President George W. Bush and first lady Laura Bush, have helped them begin the long process of healing. Joseph Patrick Driscoll, 70, was headed for a vacation out west when hijackers seized the plane, only to have the passengers fight them for control. The plane crashed in western Pennsylvania and law enforcement authorities have said they believe the actions of the passengers prevented the plane from hitting a target in Washington, D.C.
Since Sept. 11, Maureen Driscoll and her children take each day as it comes. Emotions conflict, sadness turns to anger — anger at an enemy that struck at them and at their country. An enemy that took away a loved and loving father and husband who died a hero’s death along with everyone else aboard United Airlines Flight 93 that went down in a field in Shanksville, Pa.
While nothing can ever make it all OK for the Driscoll family, each passing day helps things get better, as does the genuine caring shown them by friends, family and well-wishers.
On the morning when America came under attack, Joseph Patrick Driscoll, 70, a longtime resident of Manalapan, was a passenger on United Airlines Flight 93, headed for a trip out west. His family believes Driscoll would have been among the passengers who fought a group of hijackers that had taken control of the plane. Authorities believe the actions of the passengers kept the plane from hitting a target in Washington, D.C. The plane crashed in western Pennsylvania, and all aboard were lost. Among the people sending their condolences to the Driscolls were members of Congress.
Representative of the sentiments ex-pressed was a note from F. James Sensen-brenner, chairman of the House of Repre-sentatives Committee on the Judiciary, who wrote, "I hope you may gain some solace from the heroism that Patrick displayed. … [I]n the trying times ahead we will be sustained by the reignited spirit of America awakened by the passengers of Flight 93."
To Maureen, those comments and the letters sent to the family from other members of Congress were just as appreciated as the personal attention she and her children, Patrick, Steve, Chris and Pam, and their spouses, received in the Oval Office from President and Mrs. George W. Bush. The meeting with the president and first lady Laura Bush came on Oct. 1, less than a month after the day when ordinary citizens became national sacrifices in a war against America declared by terrorist forces.
Of the president and first lady, Maureen has only genuine praise and affection. She said they were both "lovely people" who became genuinely teary-eyed when speaking to her of her loss and what her husband and the other passengers on Flight 93 now represented to the country.
She said meeting the president, the first lady and the families of some of the other passengers has helped. Especially endearing, she said, was when President Bush put his hand on her son Chris’ shoulder and in a paternal aside told the young man, "Take good care of your mother, big guy."
Maureen Driscoll’s daughter-in-law, Silvana, a resident of Jackson, told Greater Media Newspapers that she and the three Driscoll sons all work in New York. The commute every day — looking at the fractured New York skyline — is a pick at a wound.
But, she said, still they work at healing.
Take the morning of Nov. 12, two months and one day after Joe’s death, when American Airlines Flight 587 crashed into a Queens neighborhood, bringing worried phone calls from concerned friends.
Maureen said she understood the need people had to be assured that "it" wasn’t happening again; that although they were calling her to ask how she was doing in the face of what many people feared might be another attack, she knew they needed her to reassure them just as much as they thought they needed to reassure her.
She said she has come to realize that this simple act on her part to help others through the shock and grief is a step for her in the healing process.
She has had nothing but time since Sept. 11 to reflect on her life with her beloved Joe — she said there is a great peace in knowing that he died a hero — and what life now holds for her without him.
The former Manalapan resident still intends to move into the home she and Joe were having built in South Jersey. She still plans to fill that home with the laughter of her grandchildren.
Although still sad, Driscoll said there are moments of joy, such as when she receives new stories for the family from strangers out west, people who want to tell her what her husband has come to mean to them.
For the past 15 years Joe Driscoll made annual trips either to Yosemite National Park in California or to Glacier National Park in Montana for hiking and trailblazing excursions. Yosemite was his destination on Sept. 11. The trips were so important to Joe that the family asked that people looking to honor his memory make donations in his name to the "Leave No Trace" campaigns which aim to keep parks clean and clear of debris and remnants from campers and hikers.
Pam Driscoll Gould’s neighbors in St. Charles, Ill., where she resides, have planted a magnolia tree in a street courtyard outside her home in Joe’s honor with a plaque honoring his sacrifice.
Maureen said when Pam contacted rangers in the two parks to inquire about the status of the donations to the "Leave No Trace" campaign, she was told the rangers were not only receiving donations, but also letters and testimonials about Joe.
Maureen said the rangers told Pam they were gathering from time to time to compare the stories being written about Joe.
Maureen said it was always Joe’s dream to have his ashes scattered over Mount Hoffman in Yosemite. Although she knows that can’t happen now, Maureen knows that the honors being awarded him through the goodwill of those who knew him would have made him happy beyond all words of expression — knowing that the place he so loved to go was now honoring him in such a way.
Meanwhile, Pam has hopes of establishing some sort of monument in Yosemite in tribute to her father’s dedication to the park, perhaps a bench or a plaque, according to Maureen.
Perhaps if that hope can be realized, that bench or plaque will be a lasting, genuine way of honoring the sacrifice he and others made on that morning in September.