Gerald Speedy has written a book on "Coming of Age at Ninety."
By: Michael Redmond
It’s not news that more and more Americans are living into their 80s and 90s, but few middle-aged people busy with their families and careers stop to think about who they will be and what kinds of lives they would like to be living if they reach advanced old age.
Gerald Speedy has done the thinking for them. Even better, he has done the living for them.
Coming up quickly on his 92nd year, Mr. Speedy has written a little book titled "Coming of Age at Ninety: A Book for All Who Are Growing Older" (Xlibris). It’s a collection of 53 essays on a grab-bag of subjects. In the interests of full disclosure, I must say that I am very glad to have read it, and that I can think of lots of people close to me three generations’ worth, in fact who ought to read it, too.
A resident of Lakes Manor, a life-care community in Willow Street, Pa., near Lancaster, Mr. Speedy was a Princeton resident between 1953 and 1973. He was an active member of Nassau Presbyterian Church, where he served as superintendent of the church school, among other positions; he also served as "a member of the commission which planned the present Princeton parks system," he recalled during an interview at The Packet.
Long retired from a 45-year career in the nonprofit community-support sector, Mr. Speedy was accompanied to Princeton by his wife, Ruth Mayer Speedy, age 84. Both Gerald and Ruth enjoyed long and happy marriages to their first spouses, with whom each had children, before they found themselves alone, later in life. Although each of them had a background in Minnesota, they met in Spain. Each had decided never to remarry. They’ve now been married 20 years and yes, it’s a love affair.
"People think that aging just happens, whereas now people in their 90s often have a lot of initiative left. That’s why I believe that it’s important for people to plan, shape, manage, create their old age, rather than just letting it happen to them. A woman once described aging to me as ‘a personal cross to bear.’ She failed to realize that everybody has to do it," Mr. Speedy said.
Having resided for 10 years at Rossmoor in Monroe Township, a retirement community, then for 14 years in a life-care community (independent living but with complete health-care services on site), Mr. Speedy has spent "a lot of time with the aging listening to them, talking to them, watching them."
He has found that "old age lives between opposites. ‘Can’ and ‘can’t’ is a big problem for old people. So many just draw up ‘can’t’ lists and live by them. Other opposites are lively and dull, bland and cantankerous, anxious and bored. My book tries to help people reconcile the opposites, to find the place between the opposites that’s comfortable for the individual."
One of the "can’ts" Mr. Speedy has encountered is resistance to the new tech the Internet and the Web. Some of his neighbors have told him, "Oh, I can’t make that thing work." No problem for Mr. Speedy, who sings the praises of the new technologies with unalloyed relish. Here is a man who remembers the nightly lighting of gas streetlights and the very first time he heard that newfangled invention called the radio, and today he’s as "wired" as a teenager. In fact, he’s pitches WebTV so hard as the ideal solution for the "old" old that the company really ought to offer him a consultancy.
"I’m not a very conservative person," he laughed.
One of his book’s many pleasures is its resolute avoidance of a systematic approach to the subject of aging; instead, the reader is surprised by the author’s turns-of-mind, no-nonsense honesty, and dry wit. He doesn’t duck the hard issues. He eschews soft-headed sentimentality, but he celebrates the beauty of life wherever it is to be found there are even a few love poems to Ruth Speedy here.
This is a wise and bracing book. It can be ordered through bookstores (ISBN 4010-3206-0), but the ever-practical author advises that 15 percent off the list price is available to those who order direct from the publisher, 1-(888)-795-4274, ext. 276. The cost is $17.84.