What if reality TV hit cable access?

J. Aden Lewis

What if reality TV hit cable access?

J. Aden Lewis

The Nielsen ratings haven’t been released this month, but we can safely assume that MeTV Channel 22 (Metuchen local cable) is trailing slightly behind CBS, NBC, ABC and FOX.

Although the present Channel 22 lineup of Borough Council meetings, holiday parades and Board of Education meetings is strong and engaging, perhaps some edgy new programming will help to tap a wider audience:

"Survivor: Roosevelt Park"

Contestants spend three weeks facing challenges in Roosevelt and Menlo Park. See the participants confront tests like skating at the new ice rink, crossing Route 1 as a pedestrian, and trying to get a Friday night table at The Cheesecake Factory.

"Metuchen Eye for the Edison Guy"

This could be the network’s biggest hit. The Brainy Boro’s Fab Five include an accountant, a psychotherapist, a dentist, a lawyer and a Rutgers professor.

"The St. Joseph’s Boys Basketball Game (with Celebrity Halftime Show)"

First and foremost, this program is about showcasing quality local high school basketball.

However, with their network TV careers temporarily on hold, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake travel to Metuchen’s hometown Catholic school to spice up the halftime offerings.

"The Commuter"

In a quest to find the perfect mate, a handsome, eligible Metuchen male commuter rides NJ Transit to Penn Station with rail-using single females. The excitement builds each week as The Commuter narrows his romantic choices in a tense "round-trip ticket" ceremony.

The season ends with a dramatic 7:20 a.m. train platform marriage proposal as The Commuter chooses between three finalists. The lucky winner will board the 7:21 express with her new fiance while the two runners-up are forced to wait for the 7:34 local.

The season of "The Commuter" will be followed by its sister program — "The Commuterette."

"The Municipal Contract"

Mayor O’Brien is Metuchen’s own Donald Trump in this cousin of NBC’s "The Apprentice." Each week, companies bid for taxpayer-funded Metuchen municipal projects.

Never has the competition to fill potholes, build bus stops and make school renovations been so dramatic!

At the end of each show, Mayor O’Brien electrifies the Metuchen airwaves with the spectacular pronouncement: "You’re fired!"

Be sure to check future listings for other new offerings like "Metuchen COPS," "CSI: Metuchen", "Brainy Boro Jeopardy," and "Sex in the Suburbs."