Nancy Speelman Edwards, Hillsborough
I wanted to speak to the controversy regarding the random drug testing issue in Hillsborough.
First I want to say, I love teens, I care about them, and I think this is a very good thing.
We all want to believe that our kids are wonderful and that we can trust them. That is human nature.
And parents use the words, “I can trust my kids,” which equates to “I did a good job parenting.”
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always matter how good of a job you do. Yes, it helps tremendously, but then “adolescence” rears its head, separation begins .. . and kids want to do “their own thing.”
That usually means opposite of a lot of the good stuff they learned. Not to offend their parents, but to separate. We all know “great parents” who’ve had a child who appears an alien jumped into their body. Unfortunately, during this time peers have a bigger influence and trying dangerous substances can come into play.
Kids usually begin by experimenting with tobacco and alcohol, then marijuana and then possibly onto other illegal substances. A big concern today is “OTC” or prescription drug use “Pharm Parties.” Teens will take pills from bottles they find in their home, usually their parent’s prescriptions, they bring them to a party, throw them in a bowl, mix them together and take a handful.
Still, the biggest concern is underage drinking. With the latest technology, we are finding out how underage drinking has an impact on the developing adolescent brain. I hear parents say “I used to drink when I was younger” almost condoning their behavior. Obviously they must not be aware of the latest statistics on teen casualties due to drinking or the latest research on brain development.
I have worked too many years with teens to know this same scenario. I worked with many great parents. I also know that when their kids become teens, parents tend to break down out of exhaustion, the exact time they needed to save their energy and set clear limits.
In today’s world with so many families with two parents working, it’s worse. In any event, that’s why I advocate for drug testing. Not to “bust” a kid but to be an extra set of eyes. I would rather identify a student that needs help through this program, then it be the law to first identify them.
Members of the Municipal Alliance began talking about what we can do to support high school parents. We noted that throughout elementary and middle school, parents tend to be more involved and then begin to drop off.
Out of these discussions “Parents United” is being developed. It will be a forum whereby parents can share accurate information about “what is really going on,” as well as support them in how to deal with situations of adolescence. We have had meetings with the new police chief, the school principal, high school Student Assistance Counselors, and several parents who served in the classrooms through the Life Skills Program.
Our mission it takes a community to raise a child.
The writer is a licensed clinical alcohol and drug counselor.
