Hold on while I dust off this trophy I’ve got sitting on my desk. OK, here we go, and if we could have a drum roll, please. The Greg Bean Corporate Jackass of the Month Award goes to (pregnant pause) CONRAIL!
I know I’ve been pretty hard on a few companies in recent months because of poor customer service and the impossibility of getting anyone on the phone. But when it comes to pure, the-heck-with-all-of-youpeons arrogance, few can hold a candle to the Consolidated Railroad Corp., which operates about 417 miles of track in northern New Jersey and provides its freight shipping service out of a Newark hub.
Conrail was rebuilt with billions of dollars in aid from the federal government in the 1970s and early 1980s, so you and I helped pay for laying the foundations of the business. But now it seems the company is profitable enough that it thinks it doesn’t have to answer to, or get along with, anybody. Here’s an example:
Conrail owns a small piece of land in Spotswood that is an unsightly mess. The property is the first thing you pass when you enter Spotswood from Route 18, so between the dilapidated state of the property and the big trucks parked there, the first impression lots of visitors get is that the town is sort of a dump.
To change that perception, the local pols had an idea. They’d just ask Conrail if they could “beautify” the parcel with a sign welcoming people to town and some nice landscaping.
Conrail’s response?
“Fine,” the company said in essence. “But you’re gonna have to pay us $1,200 a year to lease the parcel.”
In other words, Spotswood taxpayers are going to have to reach into their own pockets to spruce up an eyesore owned by Conrail, which isn’t doing anything with the property anyway.
Does that make sense to you? Me neither.
Granted, Spotswood doesn’t have that great of a relationship with Conrail. Back in the 1970s, the mayor even went as far as parking his car on Conrail tracks to protest unsafe conditions.
But trying to negotiate this simple transaction with Conrail has been a nightmare. At an early stage in the discussions, Conrail sent a representative to the town, and that representative said the town’s idea to beautify the parcel was a good one.
After that, however, nobody from Conrail got back to anyone from Spots-wood with an answer. A full 18 months later – after the borough threatened to get a congressman involved – Conrail made finally made its proposal to lease the land for $1,200 a year.
With the help of a state assemblyman, that price was later negotiated to $600 a year, but come on! Fact of the matter is, Conrail ought to be paying Spotswood for the effort and not the other way around.
It isn’t just politicians from Spotswood who have trouble getting a response from Conrail, however. When we wrote a story about this stupid mess in a recent edition of Greater Media’s newspaper the Sentinel – a story you can read on our Web site www.gmnews.com. – the company failed to return calls made by our reporter to what the company apparently laughingly refers to as its “media and public information hotline.”
I didn’t have any better luck when gathering information for this column. When you call the media hotline, a recorded voice tells you to leave a detailed message with your name, organization and question. If Conrail wants to make a comment or provide information, the voice intones, the company will “contact you by the end of the next business day.”
I left my name, organization, contact information and question (“I’m calling to ask why Conrail is trying to charge Spotswood money to clean up property owned by the company.”), but I’m still waiting for the return call. Doesn’t look like they want to make a comment or provide information. Then again, that’s no surprise because there’s really no way Conrail could spin its arrogance in a positive way. Better just to lie doggo and hope the whole thing blows over.
I’m just thinking off the top of my head here, but I’ve got a suggestion. It isn’t the money because $600 probably wouldn’t break the Spotswood bank. But there is a principle here, and that principle is that if Conrail doesn’t want to act like a good neighbor, then the neighbors ought to do whatever they can to make Conrail behave.
I say Spotswood ought to take that piece of property by eminent domain and beautify the heck out of it. Under the state’s loosey-goosey eminent domain laws, showing that there’s a higher purpose and more valuable use for the pie-shaped property ought to be a no brainer.
If the goons in Long Branch can take people’s beachfront homes so a developer can put up high-priced condominiums, getting rid of an eyesore and public safety hazard ought to be a walk in the park. And to tell you the truth, a municipality taking property from a railroad by eminent domain would be a fine rumpus to watch.
If Spotswood officials take my suggestion, it’s my prediction that on the day they file the paperwork to take the property by eminent domain, it will finally get the company’s attention and some corporate suit at Conrail will pick up the phone and call someone in Spotswood to threaten and complain.
I hope nobody in Spotswood returns Conrail’s calls. • • • Speaking of Long Branch: I was glad (I’m being facetious) to read that as part of the $4 billion awarded by the state last week to build schools in the state’s “poorest” Abbott districts (including Hoboken, which isn’t exactly a low-income community), Long Branch will get $37,809,039 to rebuild the Elberon Elementary School.
The state’s taxpayers have spent boatloads of money building schools in the Abbott districts, although that money hasn’t done that much to improve student performance in the districts.
But at least in Long Branch, we might be near the end of the road. With this infusion of cash, Superintendent of Schools Joseph M. Ferraina told a local publication that once Elberon is on its way, he thinks Long Branch will be set for “years.”
If you believe that, I’ve got a used Hummer that gets 90 miles to the gallon I’d like to sell you. One owner – a little old man who only drove it to the off-track betting parlor on Sundays.
Gregory Bean is executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].