‘Rounding’ doesn’t simplify things for reader

Ihope you all remember your old high school education. You’re in math class, patiently waiting for your test. You read the instructions and notice that all answers must be rounded to the nearest whole number. What’s the deal with that!?

I refuse to round; it’s absolutely absurd! You are trying to make me believe that 1.5 x 3 is 5? Now, I’m not a rocket scientist, but my gut feeling is saying that it’s 4.5. Well, I’m fighting against this ridiculous rounding-regime. I’m not going to round any of my answers. It makes no sense at all!

They’re trying to tell me that if I have a cantaloupe and a half, and I add another cantaloupe, that I have three cantaloupes! That’s about as false as dentures! Where did that extra half of a cantaloupe come from? It sure as darn didn’t come from my cantaloupe stash. I know that I have 2.5 cantaloupes, and I’ve got the fruit to prove it! With these cantaloupe prices these days, you can be sure that I would never buy an entire three cantaloupe. It’s absurd, it’s foolish, and my belly can’t fit that much fruit!

Back to mathematics: I understand that they are trying to simplify everything. The problem is, however, you just can’t simplify life. It sure would be a whole lot simpler if I didn’t have to pay taxes each year, but it just doesn’t work that way. And, sure, I would love for 1.5 x 3 to be 5, but that’s just not the way it is. I like my numbers exact, and my solutions precise. If the answer has 45 decimals, let it be. I love decimals!

As the great Wyatt Earp once proudly stated, “Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.” So go ahead, round up your answers. But you better know that my answers are going to be far more correct than yours!
Tomer Langberg
Ocean Township