Although this column will appear after the Nov. 2 mid-term election, it was written beforehand, which makes it one of the most difficult of the year.
I got so frustrated reading conflicting polls from races I’m interested in around the state and nation that I finally said the heck with it, and pulled my Magic 8-Ball out of storage. But when I asked it a sample question — Will Republicans Anna Little and Scott Sipprelle beat Democratic incumbents Rush Holt and Frank Pallone in the 12th and 6th District races for U.S. Congress? — all it said was “Better not tell you now.” I asked it again, and it said, “Don’t count on it,” which at least was more in line with late polling numbers from Monmouth University.
I asked it questions about Christine O’Donnell and that kook Joe Miller up in Alaska (word-up, Joe, the “Miami Vice” twoday stubble look is waaay over) and the liquid inside the thing started bubbling and boiling before it came back with the answer, “Question makes my brain pan ache.”
So much for the Magic 8-Ball. I would have tried a Ouija board, except I’ve seen too many movies about the devil taking control of people fooling around with Ouija boards, so I chickened out. I think he’s taken control of an old buddy of mine named Dave Simpson, with whom I used to collaborate on the Red State/Blue State column in these newspapers. But instead of sneaking in through a Ouija board, it’s my theory Dave accidentally let the devil in by watching Glenn Beck on Fox.
That’s just a theory, mind you, but I think I smell a little sulfur every time I see the Beckster on television. (Did you see that ad he made for freeze-dried post-apocalyptic food? It’s called Food Insurance — insurance you’ll have some dehydrated lasagna if a nuke falls on your head. Seriously. I could watch it a thousand times. It’s that funny.)
Two final questions about stories from the campaign season:
With more and more information suggesting that foreign governments like China and large corporations tried to hijack our electoral process by pumping millions and millions of dollars into attack ads through the Chamber of Commerce, will there be a backlash from the national Chamber’s membership? You’ve got to suspect that not all the mom-and-pop businesses that pay dues to the Chamber support a radical right-wing agenda that includes shipping American jobs overseas. Some of those individual members might even be — The horror! The horror! — Democrats who don’t appreciate having their names attached to an organization whose only purpose seems to be defeating Democrats. It will be interesting to see how that whole thing shakes down.
And second, can the New Jersey Education Association sink any lower? I’ve written here numerous times about the NJEA and its shenanigans, and the fact that it has lost virtually all credibility. But then, last week, James O’Keefe, whose undercover videos were such an embarrassment to ACORN in the run-up to the presidential election, released some video taken at a recent NJEA Leadership Conference in which obviously intoxicated teachers tell him how hard it is to fire someone with tenure, even if the tenured teacher in question calls a student the “n-word.” I can’t repeat her actual words in a family newspaper, but one teacher says that it’s so hard to fire a tenured teacher, you almost have to catch them in the hallway having sex to establish a firing offense.
You can find that video online — try YouTube — as well as another in which the father of the student who was victimized by the racial epithet is told by an administrator that it would be virtually impossible to fire the offending teacher, because that teacher is tenured.
It’s shocking stuff, if true, and perhaps the most powerful argument I’ve heard yet for Gov. Chris Christie’s proposal to overhaul the whole tenure system. Do yourself a favor and check them both out. If they don’t make your blood boil, nothing will.
• • •
I was thrilled last week to read a story in these newspapers that the Middlesex County Board of Freeholders had voted to allot $1.5 million to the purchase of the 27-acre Foerter Farm on Riva Avenue in East Brunswick as open space. East Brunswick Mayor David Stahl said the township is prepared to match the funds through bonding to come up with the $2.5 million purchase price. He said the town will likely construct a boardwalk on the property so more can enjoy the beautiful scenery and the farming operation, which will remain ongoing.
I haven’t written much about this issue, because I live across the street from the farm and have a vested interest in the outcome. But this is a win-win result. My neighbors, who live on the farm and work it, are apparently satisfied with the negotiations, and generations will benefit from the open space.
And I’ll be able to continue enjoying the view of the farm from my living room window.
Now, if they’ll only put up some signs to warn motorists speeding down Riva Avenue about the deer (12 were killed coming from the farm onto the street last year alone, by my count), and do something about the geese — like the ones in this photo that visited last fall — it will be perfect. I like geese as well as the next guy, but not in Alfred Hitchcock numbers. That many scare me.
Gregory Bean is the former executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].