Whether or not he is eventually prosecuted, it looks like during the last fewyears if you wanted to have a really good time, you needed to wangle a social invitation fromex-BrookdaleCommunityCollege President Peter F. Burnham.
As was reported last week, the state Department of Treasury has placed a hold on Burnham’s $623,060 retirement accounts until a criminal investigation into “spending irregularities” by Burnham between 2008 and 2011 is completed. Both Burnham and George Fehr, vice president of business and finance at Brookdale, were placed on administrative leave March 3, and Burnham resigned March 8. The board of trustees is suing Burnham for fraud, to recover money it says the ex-president spent inappropriately, and to avoid paying anymoney that still might be owed to the man. Burnham’s attorney, of course, says his client is innocent, and it will all come out at trial, assuming it ever goes that far.
A 91-page audit commissioned by the trustees and released late last week might get the attention of parents scrimping to pay tuition and fees at Brookdale, and students who racked up student loan debts there. And I suspect they’ll be a little testy when they learn where some of their hardearned money went. For example, although the board agreed years ago to pay Burnham’s initiation fee to the Navesink Country Club and his annual dues, the audit revealed that in the three-year period he had signed for and been reimbursed for $15,000 in “questionable” personal charges for food, clothing and alcohol, including a $426.93 purchase in the golf shop and a $500 greens fee. There was also a $1,829 banquet for a departing vice president of the college. In total, Burnham had charged to the college $27,555 at the country club during those three years, not counting membership fees and other dues.
Monmouth County residents taking the 15- credit maximum pay $1,777.50 per term, or $3,555 per year. Out-of-county residents would pay $237 per credit, or $3,555 per term, which comes to about $7,108 per year. In other words, the entire tuition charges for 15 county students for a semester went to pay some of Burnham’s country club bills between 2008 and 2011. And he didn’t even yell “FORE!” Afew years ago, there was a possum living in my detached garage. He finally moved to greener pastures (the method I used to convince him got me in trouble with a local animal rights lady), but now there are squirrels living in the attic out there. I found out where they’re getting in, but if I board up the holes, won’t that trap some of them inside with nothing to eat but the electrical wiring? And here’s another really scary question: Don’t squirrels attract snakes?
Last year, I saw a northern black racer in the garden that I swear was 5 feet long and as thick as my arm. They’re mean when cornered, and the thought that the snake might have moved in with the squirrels has so far kept me from going out to the attic with a flashlight to look around. Any suggestions? Should I just hope that the snake (and I’m sure it’s out there) will eventually solve the problem by eating the rodents? Should I take a more proactive approach? Anyone want to volunteer to come over and provide backup? I’ve got a butterfly net and a spare tennis racquet for armament.
I’m still scratching my noggin over this one. Last week, a story by CNN said that Zsa Zsa Gabor’s 67-year-old husband, Prince Frederic vonAnhalt (you can’t make this stuff up), wants his 94-year-old wife to be a mother again. Gabor hasn’t been able to walk since a car accident in 2002, and in the last year had a hip replacement and one of her legs amputated. But apparently because there’s no one to carry on the Gabor name, and von Anhalt has some time on his hands (“I’m a retired guy”), they think it’d be swell to have a new baby — as long as hubby can find
an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother. In other words, they need everything, soup to nuts.
Apparently, adoption is out of the question since they’re, well, crazy. But bull goose loonyness aside, I’m glad these rich kooks have discovered what many of us have known for years: It’s a lot easier to raise children if you’ve got a little help.
Call this Verizon Redux: I’ve written before about some of Verizon’s inscrutable business practices, but I still got a kick out of this gem sent last week from a reader. It seems that this reader had aVerizon landline account for years that gave him unlimited long-distance calls in the U.S. and Canada for about $89 a month. But recently, he discovered that he could get rid of that bill by signing up with one of those triple-play companies during a promotion that gave him phone/Internet/cable for less than what he was currently paying for Internet and cable. That means he’d save the money he was paying to Verizon, about $1,068 a year.
Shortly after he switched, however, he got a letter from Verizon saying how much they missed him, and if he’d just come back, they’d give him unlimited calls to the U.S. and Canada for only $24.99 a month.
His question? “If my continued business meant so much to them, why didn’t they offer me that deal before I switched?”
I don’t know, but maybe he could call Verizon’s customer service to ask, if he’s got a couple of hours to navigate the convenient automated system.
From the Department of Sure Could Use a Little Good News Today: Just when you thought there was nothing positive in the newspaper these days, you get something like this day-brightening headline sent to me by an alert reader after she saw it in a local paper last week (you know who you are) — “Arrests made due to alleged illegal activities.”
Does that mean they’ve finally stopped arresting people for legal activities? I’m hopeful, but dubious.
Gregory Bean is the former executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].