Life has changed dramatically for Little Silver resident Noelle McNeil, whose recovery from a near-fatal accident is chronicled in her inspirational new book.
Noelle McNeil plans a career as a motivational speaker after recovering from a brain injury. This photo from her book shows Noelle after emerging from a coma being visited by her mother, Rosemary Richards, who insisted her daughter “was in there” and the task was to get her out. “When the lights went out on Aug. 2, 2005, I had it all. I was 20 years old, an athlete, pretty, popular and a dean’s list student involved in a serious relationship with a gorgeous young man.
“When the lights finally came back on two months later I was totally disabled, unable to walk, feed myself, go to the bathroom myself — virtually a prisoner to a new and horrifying reality,” McNeil writes in her book “Heaven Exists.”
After being thrown from a horse, McNeil, a nationally ranked equestrian competitor, was expected never to leave the vegetative state caused by a traumatic brain injury.
Yet with incredible fortitude, the support and love of her family, and what she clearly believes is some divine intervention, this vibrant young woman will walk to accept her diploma when she graduates with honors from Monmouth University in May.
“Heaven Exists” is based on a journal McNeil kept during her four months in rehabilitation and 11 months as an outpatient and chronicles her physical and mental battle to become whole again.
After graduating from Red Bank Catholic High School in 2003, where she was a member of the basketball and track teams, McNeil attended James Madison University in Virginia, where she competed at the collegiate level with her horse Redwood.
Following her sophomore year, McNeil returned home for summer break and wanted to practice for an upcoming equestrian competition that would take place in Virginia. Redwood was already there, so she used a different horse, one that she had practiced with before.
McNeil has no memory of the accident that followed but stressed repeatedly that the horse is not to blame for her misfortune.
“I read that the horse refused to jump, lost its balance and that we then fell down together with a lot of force. It was a freak accident,” McNeil said.
The impact of the fall was so great that it broke her riding helmet.
“It’s the best helmet money can buy. It’s the only reason I’m alive,” McNeil said.
Immediately following the accident, McNeil was taken via helicopter to Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, where doctors originally thought she suffered a spinal injury. When they realized it was a head injury, she was transported to JFK Medical Center in Edison, a brain trauma rehabilitation center, where she remained in a coma for another week.
While in the coma, McNeil developed sepsis and pneumonia. During that time, McNeil said she went to heaven and saw her Uncle Joe, who had died two years earlier.
“I saw my Uncle Joe through the clouds. He told me that my father was upset — that he didn’t want me to be here too soon.
“I asked him if this was heaven and he said yes. Then I asked him if he could find out if I could go back because there was so much I still wanted to do.
“He walked away and when he came back he said, ‘Your recovery will take a long time. You can go back, but you might be sorry. It’s going to be hard,’ ” McNeil explained.
Her family and the medical professionals believed her story because the inability to lie was a side effect of her injury, McNeil said.
“I was too truthful,” she added with a giggle.
It was at JFK that McNeil awoke from her 11-day coma and learned of the extent of her injuries. She was diagnosed with diffuse axonal injury — many connections in her brain were severed. McNeil said that less than 3 percent of people with that diagnosis make meaningful recoveries.
“When I found out, I wanted to die. It was a nightmare,” McNeil said.
After approximately two months at JFK, McNeil was moved to Hartwyck at Oak Tree, also in Edison, for rehabilitation.
“My whole life changed. I woke up and was stuck in diapers and a wheelchair. It was a total disaster. I did go to heaven, and now I would get a real taste of what hell was like,” McNeil said.
She detailed the grueling, torturous recoverywhere she felt like a prisoner in a broken body, dependent on others to perform the most rudimentary tasks.
“I played Connect Four and got very, very depressed,” McNeil said of her time at Hartwyck.
McNeil remained in a wheelchair for more than eight months and described that period as the most difficult time in her life.
“It was really eating at me. I’m an athlete and it just really got to me.
“My physical therapist, Joyce, is the best there is. She really recognized my push and drive. She would harness me onto the treadmill so I could walk again,” McNeil continued.
McNeil said that she spent hours on the treadmill.
“I was on it all the time. I had a lot of anxiety, and exercising helped a lot,” McNeil said. McNeil’s misfortune led her to embark on an amazing journey of recovery, character building and discovering what was truly important.
“I saw who my real friends were. I’ve been through more trauma than anyone ever should.
“I’m not so concerned over the shallow things in life, like my hair or being thinner. I know what’s important,” McNeil said.
The drive and determination that brought McNeil so many gifts in life eventually surfaced, abetted by the incredible support of her family and the realization that God had some special plan for her.
“I don’t get so stressed out anymore about silly things. I’m not so concerned over the size of my butt,” joked the now physically fit and self-effacing McNeil.
“I know that people are watching over me,” she added.
Toward the end of her stay at Hartwyck, McNeil began keeping a journal that would later develop into her book. She utilized an adaptive tool, called an AlphaSmart device, because her right arm was rendered nearly useless from her head injury.
“My mom told me that I should do something with it. That I should make something of this horror,” McNeil said.
Her book describes the world from the perspective of someone newly disabled and laments the loss of a carefree existence that has been replaced with wisdom and maturity gained from the struggle to recover.
“I really do feel like an 84-year-old woman in a 24-year-old’s body,” McNeil said. Her book, “Heaven Exists,” was published on Aug. 31 and is available at amazon. com.
“I’m so happy I got this [story] out. I’m a pretty typical tall, blond athlete. This horror kind of gave me a way to stand out.”
McNeil now speaks at venues where she feels she can have a positive impact by sharing her story and hopes to pursue a career as a motivational speaker following graduation.
Her next speaking engagement will take place 2-4 p.m. on Dec. 20 at NovelTeas, 78 Bridge Ave., Red Bank. The $15 fee includes a copy of “Heaven Exists,” hot chocolate and a cupcake.
McNeil’s wisdom, gleaned during a journey from near-death back to a full life, is summed up in the last line of her novel:
“Tragedy can happen to any one of us at any time. What you do with the tragedy determines who you are.”